Why typing “hahaha” is better than typing “lol”
HOMESTAR RUNNER: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE
The year is 2003. It is a kinder time, a simpler time.
Every single one of your classmates knows how to draw Trogdor the Burninator - first, you draw an S, then you draw a more different S.
"Everybody to the Limit" is a staple at middle school dances.
Your best friend’s little brother owns a plush The Cheat, and you can kick it, and it makes noise.
The year is 2003, the golden age of Homestar Runner.
Basically, every online content creator, every webcomic artist, every YouTube entertainer, owes Homestar Runner a shitload.
Once upon a time, Homestar Runner was the definitive Flash site, an online destination for kids and immature grown-ups alike, fielding millions of hits and thousands of e-mails a day.
Homestar Runner, the earnest athlete with a pure heart and a love for mankind, and his arch-nemesis, Strong Bad, a wrestler with a penchant for issuing snarky responses to fanmail, defined a generation through weird, surrealist Flash cartoons tinged with outdated pop cultural references.
Ten years later, there’s a new generation of Internetters who have never experienced the pure, unadulterated joy of H-Star-R, and that breaks my heart.
So, here, I’ve compiled this beginner’s guide to Homestar Runner. Every cartoon on this list is shorter than five minutes. Get into it. Do yourself a favour.
STEP ONE: STRONG BAD E-MAILS
- japanese cartoon
- stunt double
- kids’ book
- different town
- for kids
- bedtime story
STEP TWO: TEEN GIRL SQUAD
Episodes #1-15 are available here. Watch them all.
STEP THREE: SHORTS
- An Important Rap Song
- Where My Hat Is At?
- Best Caper Ever
- Play Date
- The Homestar Runner Gets Something Stuck In His Craw
- One Two, One Two
- Fluffy Puff Commercial
STEP FOUR: TOONS
I owe a lot to Homestar Runner. I remember sharing these with coworkers at Booklist in 2003. We couldn’t believe how good it was.
There hasn’t been any new Homestar content since 2010, sadly. I don’t know much about why, but I do know they funded the whole series through merch sales, which—let me tell you—is a tough way to go.
Not to beat a dead horse, but I wish sustainable funding models existed* for stuff like Homestar Runner, because while the shows those guys are now making for Disney will no doubt be brilliant, I miss Strong Bad and friends.
* And perhaps a new one will soon, he said portentously.
Time to get nostalgic up in here
Dustin Hoffman on playing a woman in Tootsie (1982)
“If I was going to be a woman, I would want to be as beautiful as possible. And they said to me, ‘Uh, that’s as beautiful as we can get you.’ And I went home and started crying to my wife, and I said, ‘I have to make this picture.’ And she said, ‘Why?’ And I said, ‘Because I think I’m an interesting woman when I look at myself on screen, and I know that if I met myself at a party, I would never talk to that character because she doesn’t fulfill, physically, the demands that we’re brought up to think that women have to have in order for us to ask them out.’ She says, ‘What are you saying?’ and I said, ‘There’s too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed.’ It was not what it felt like to be a woman. It was what it felt like to be someone that people didn’t respect, for the wrong reasons. I know it’s a comedy. But comedy’s a serious business.”
This is a man in tears when he came up against the experience of being a woman in a misogynist society, and realizing what it means for them, and for him, too.
This is so killer.
A Taste of Austin American-Statesman History
One of the Statesman’s veteran reporters showed up with this today: a guide given a couple decades ago to those who toured the Statesman’s “new” building (as of 1981). The guide and some of the reporter’s clips from the era were found during a home renovation, and we’re glad they were!
We’re still in the same building, but a number of other things have changed. For instance (as you can see in the third photo), in the early 80s our paper apparently had a staff of around 700 and put out four editions every day.
Hope you like this little taste of history on a Friday as much as we in the newsroom did!
FAST FOOD DOESN’T GET FASTER THAN THIS SHIT. You can eat these sons of bitches raw. Sometimes I like them hot so I toss em on the grill. Use some of that bomb-ass peanut sauce too. Look, just because french fries come from a vegetable don’t front like that shit counts as your veggies for the day. Yeah, I’m already in your fucking head.
GRILLED SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH PEANUT DIPPING SAUCE
1 pound sugar snap peas
1 tablespoon canola or vegetable oil
1 teaspoon lime juice
8-10 wood or bamboo skewers
PEANUT DIPPING SAUCE
1/3 cup natural peanut butter (nothing full of sugar or a shit ton of salt)
1/3 cup warm water
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 ½ teaspoons grated or minced ginger
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 teaspoons lime juice
2 teaspoons agave or honey
1 ½ teaspoons soy sauce
Mix together the peanut butter and warm water in a glass until it is smooth. Add the rest of the ingredients for sauce and keep fucking mixing until it is all uniform. Taste and adjust the seasoning so that you like it. Add more agave if you like stuff sweet, more garlic, whatever you like. That shit is on you.
Cut the ends off your sugar snap peas because those can be stringy. Run a skewer through the peas widthwise, with about 9 peas per stick. Mix together the oil and lime juice in a small glass and brush it over both sides of the peas so that they don’t stick when you grill them, otherwise your just wasting everybody’s goddamn time.
Bring your grill to a high heat and place the skewers on there for a minute or so on each side. You don’t need to cook them, you just want some char marks on there because that looks fucking legit. Slide the peas off the skewers and sprinkle them lightly with salt. Serve with peanut dipping sauce. Too lazy to cook them? Just serve them shits raw.
We whipped this dish up exclusively for our homies over at Frank151.
You don’t need a party to get down on some guacamole. Put it on a salad, taco, tostada, sandwich, whatever you want. Eat it with your hands. I don’t give a flying fuck. SNACK LIFE.
5 ripe avocados
2 medium grapefruits or 1 big son of a bitch
¼ cup chopped cilantro
¼ cup chopped red onion
juice of 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon salt
Take the pit out of the avocados and scoop out all the green flesh into a large bowl. Mash it up with fork. I like my guacamole chunky but do what you gotta do. Cut the grapefruit up into segments like you would cut an orange. Remove the peel and cut the segments into pieces about the size of a nickel. Put all the grapefruit into the bowl with the avocado. Add the cilantro, red onion, lime juice, and salt and mix it all up. Taste it and add more shit until you like it. Serve immediately or chill it for a bit. I’m not gonna tell you how to eat guacamole, just follow your fucking heart.
ELIZA CUMBERBOTTOM! asdgdgerhtrgn
AND AND… the Full Monty guys have A SKULL, A MAGNIFYING GLASS and A RED APPLE! Coincidence? I think not.
Is one of them wearing a deerstalker?
Are that Churchill, Shakespeare, Sherlock Holmes and Newton doing the full monty? Kill me now! xD
And nothing beats Benedict Cumberbatch doing an Alan Rickman impression.
RANDOM TARDIS OH MY GOD
and you’ve got the skull, glass, and apple because they’re symbols for shakespeare (hamlet), sherlock, and newton. so it’s almost a sherlock reference but not quite.
This actually is the best scene in whole the Simpsons history.
this has to be the most british thing in all of television history
This angry food is making my year right now.
NATURE’S BUTTER, BITCH.
Tasty and aggressive, two of my favorite things.
I lol’d. so hard.
LMAOOOOOOO this is some of the best shit i’ve seen on Tumblr…had me dying lol
I had to.
I love these in-your-face advertisements. One of the old memes that never really gets old.
Extreme Advertising is the best meme, man.
I wish lavender lemonade would shout at me like that when I need it: “Calm the F*** down, yo!”